I'm not going to bother to post all the emails I've received since the first post; I've gotten about three per day (One from the bank, one from the Right Honourable Barrister and one from Mr. Phil Okolie) and they're all essentially the same. The Bank needs "[My] Urgent Attend Required Seriously," Mr. Okole begs "Please Get Back To Me My Brother In Christ" and Mr. McHenry wants to know "Why still silence from you after your call to me."
I will post one though. This is from the Bank, Eco Securities.
Attention: Mr.Adam Tiberius Discordia,
Dear Adam Tiberius,
This office still await your requested information to enable the Diplomat asigned take off to your doorstep at the United State of America with your consignment which has been approvel to be delivered by the Board of Directors.
Attend Urgently with the requested information so the Diplomat can board his flight to be arriving in your country by evening today and your consignment perfect delivery taking place.
Your Urgent Attend Required Seriously.
Truly yours,
Mr. Greg Adams
Head of Operations / Executive Director,
Eco Security Finance Company,London
+44 700 000 625113
ecosecurities-c@excite.com
I only post it because of the ridiculous mental image it left with me: This "Diplomat" sitting in the airport with a diplomatic pouch in hand waiting on the call from Barrister John McHenry so he can board his chartered flight to SFO so he can hand deliver my "consignment" to me.
Anyway, here are the new calls. Oh, every one of these calls was placed at around 4:00am Nigerian Time. That works out to a convenient 8:00pm Pacific Time.
My Brother Died! (10:41) This was supposed to be two calls, but I lost the first one. The only part missing was the initial explanation of exactly how my brother died and my request for a loan of $5,000 from the good Barrister in order to bury my brother.
My Girlfriend Kicked Me Out! (7:49) My girlfriend spent the money I was going to send to John then she kicked me out when I wouldn't tell her exactly why I needed the money.
I Got Arrested! (10:47) I recorded this one four days later. I was in jail on charges related to the business with McHenry, which is why I couldn't call him immediately like he wanted.
Update 3/20/2007: I got a pretty good email from the Barrister today:
From: Barrister John Mchenry (SAN)
John Mchenry Associates
Senior Advocate of Nigeria.
Legal Practitioners and Solicitors
Road 24, House 40Festac Town,
Lagos -Nigeria.
Tel: xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Mailling Add: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx@hotmail.com
Att: Mr.A. J. Tiberius Discordia,
If you are no longer interested in this project and your consignment delivered to you,i advice you quickly let me know as this is the fouth mail i am writting to you and still no response from you when you know your consignment is very much ready to be delivered to you at your doorstep.
I must inform you that you are getting me extremely upset over this silence of yours as if you have attended to this project the way we started your consignment wopuld have been delivered to you long ago and by now i will be preparing on coming over to your country to assist in court with the case you have.
Your Urgent Response Really Required.
Yours in service,
Barrister John Mchenry (SAN)
Monday, March 19, 2007
Sunday, March 11, 2007
The Barrister John McHenry Smile Time Variety Hour
First, thanks to the fine folks over at the Snopes forums. Their Nigerian Scavenger Hunt forum is quite useful and provided the original email.
From: Mr.Phil. Okolie [mailto: xxxxxxxxxxxx]
Subject: Dear Friend,
Dear Friend,
I need your services in a confidential matter regarding money out of a family beneficiary deposit for investment in your country as such i decided to establish contact with you for assistance.
This requires a private arrangement,as you will receive these funds under legal claims; all legal documents will be carefully worked out to ensure a risky free claim.
I am willing to pay a generous management fee as well as appreciation as soon as this transaction is completed.I have all the details,all correspondences will be via email, for now. The funds in question are quite large.
I will expect a straight answer from you. Yes or No.If yes, Kindly furnish me with your personal information which must include your full information:
1) Your Full Name.
2) Phone, Fax and Mobile #.
3) Home/Company Address.
Please Send me an e-mail as soon as you receive this letter for further discussion and more clarification.
Thanks and God Bless You.
Well, he wanted a straight answer. Yes or No. I was only too happy to oblige:
Subject: Re: Dear friend,
Dear Friend,
I am interested in assisting you. Please reply back with what I must do.
Yours in Christ,
A. Tiberius Discordia
Nice and simple. It took a few days for him to get back to me. I thought at first he just didn't reply; that happens sometimes. Turns out, Gmail's spam catcher got it! Anyway, I marked it "Not Spam" and was greeted with the following:
Subject: Dear Mr.A. Tiberius Discordia,Your Information Requested Will Do Us Lots Good Asap. (Yes, that was the subject -ed)
Dear Mr.A. Tiberius Discordia,
How are you doing today with your family?
Please Sir your personal information is still awaited which shall enable an reputable Attorney proceed to the British High Court and secure every release due legal documents in your name for our fund release and transfer to you.
Be also informed that once your vital informatuon is sent it wil be forwarded to the Attorney chambers to enable him proceed to the British High Court on the secure of all release relevant documents in your name and favour.
Information Required:
Your Full Name
Your Telephone Number
Your Home Address
I hope you also remember that this fund of ours once released and transferedto you is to be used for immedaite investment in your country into any profitable venture of your choice,where we both shall work as partner when i come over to meet with you at your country.
Your Urgent Information Sent,Will Do Us Lots Good To Proceed.
Wiith My Best Regards,
Mr.Phil Okolie.
Well, this is interesting. Not in the sense that there's anything really new he's doing at this point; it's followed the same structure as all of these so far. What I really liked is the bad spelling and broken English.
My Reply:
Dear Mr. Phil Okolie,
I and my family are quite well and I hope this message finds you just as well. I apologize for the delay in this reply; it was most regrettably unavoidable.
Full Name: Adam James Tiberius Discordia
Address: 742 Evergreen Terrace Corona California 92878
I hope these datas will be sufficient for the purposes of our Enterprise. Please reply back soonest
Yours in Christ,
Mr. A Tiberius Discordia
I didn't copy it here, but according to Gmail, his name changed to "Phil Okoli."
With the next email. his name changed back to "Okolie." You may have been wondering why this entry us titled "The Barrister John McHenry Smile Time Variety Hour" when the scammer's name is "Mr. Phil Okolie." Here's why:
Dear Mr.Adam James Tiberius Discordia,
I must start by thanking you so very much towards your quick response to see that this mutaul transcation is been smoothly completed by your assistance of fronting you as the Bonafide Beneficary of my Consignment at the security company.
On on your coopeartion over your forwarded full information,i have forwarded all your full data's to a Noble Reputable Attorney whom will be of great help to you in terms of securing every due legal documents in your name and favor at the Federal High Court of Justice,to ensure that our consignment is been claimed from the Security Company and invested in our country immedaitly.
So my advice is that you adhere strictly to the directives of the Noble Attorney,to see that our consignment due legal documents is been perfectly secured in your name at the Federal High Court of Justice as the Sole Bonafide Beneficary in favor of our Consignment claim as soon as possible.
Here is the Noble Attorney contact info:
Office Name: John Mchenry & Associates.
Name: Barrister John Mchenry.
Tel: 234xxxxxxxxxx
Email: xxxxxxx@hotmail.com
Once you have reached the Noble Attorney,i will greatly appracite your update informing me that you have opened communication with the Attorney where great legal assistance and other vital directives towards our great goal been acheived will be coming from him okay.
I look foward for your immedaite update and co-opeartion Asap.
Best Regards,
Mr.Phil Okolie.
I looked up the Country Code "234" and made a startling discovery: This guy's an Honest-to-God Nigerian! Furthermore, with Vonage, it only costs 11 cents a minute to call Nigeria! I'll definitely be calling him, but that had to wait because before I could reply to Mr. Phil Okoli, the Barrister John McHenry (SAN) sent me something:
Subject: Legal Advice Mr.Adam Tiberius /Attend Urgently......Barrister John Mchenry (SAN)
From: Barrister John Mchenry (SAN)
John Mchenry & Associates
Senior Advocate of Nigeria.
Legal Practitioners and Solicitors
Road 24, House 40Festac Town,
Lagos -Nigeria.
Tel: xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Mailling Add: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx@hotmail.com
Att: Ms.Adam James Tiberius Discordia,
This is to get you informed that I have acknowledged all vital information of yours, which is been sent to my chambers for due proclaiming of the vital documentation on your behalf at the Federal High Court of Justice Abuja Nigeria by your partner Mr.Phil Okolie.
Please note that you are to forward the following information’s to this chambers without any further delay to enable us reconfirm what we have on my desk and ascertain the authenticity of the information’s given.
1) Your Full Name.
2) Your Occupation.
3) Your Residential /Company Address.
4) Your Marital Status.
5) Your Age.
6) Your Personal Telephone /Fax Number.
7) Scanned Driver’s license/International passport
copy.
Do forwards all this, so I proceed urgently on your legal documents proclaiming in your name at the Fedearl High Court.As your partner has also informed of your ability of assistance and trustworthy in you with this great mutual transaction.
Thanks for your anticipation.
Yours in Service,
Barrister John Mchenry (SAN)
Note: Correspondence with Barrister John Mchenry (SAN) will be in bold italics in order to separate it from Mr. Phil Okolie. Why does John Mchenry (SAN) get bold? Because he's a Barrister and a (SAN.) Mr. Phil Okolie is nothing.
Anyway, I sent Barrister John Mchenry (SAN) my reply:
Dear Barrister John McHenry,
I will be most happily to transmit all the datas you request. Furthermore, I wish to thank you first for your assistance in this Enterprise; it is most appreciated.
Full Name: Adam James Tiberius Discordia
Occupation: Independent Plumbing Technician
Age: 32
My scanner is currently broken; I will send the driving license at another day.
Once again, many thanks for your utmost assistance.
Yours in Christ,
A. Tiberius Discordia
I could have sent him the phony driver's license I used last time, but he gave me his phone number; I wanted to string him along for as long as possible.
In the mean time, Mr. Phil Okolie wanted to make sure everything was OK:
Subject: I Await Your Update On Your Contact With Attorney Asap.Mr.A. Tiberius Discordia,
Dear Adam James Tiberius Discordia ,
How are you doing today with your family?
I would want to know if you have contacted the Attorney as regards the secure of every due legal release documents as regards our consignment legal documents in your name to enable the Security Company have our consignment quickly released to you as soon as possible.
Please I need your update to enable me know you and the Attorney has open communication and by Monday or so our consignment release documents in your name get perfect secured and issued in your name to enable our consignment claimed and released to you successfully.
I Await Your Update On Your Contact With Attorney Asap.
With My Best Regards,
Mr.Phil.
From me:
Dear Mr. Phil Okolie,
My family and I are most blessed and we are all doing quite well. I thank you for your kind interest in this matter and many others. I hope you and your family are doing as well as mine.
I have contacted the Honourable Barrister John McHenry. as regards the secure of every due legal release as regards our consignment in my name to enable the Security Company have our consignment quickly released to me as soon as possible. It is very kind of you to show such concern.
Once again, I am in constant communications with the Barister. I am certain we will have the Enterprise concluded by the Monday deadline.
Yours in Christ,
A. Tiberius Discordia
Barrister John Mchenry (SAN) got back to me fairly quickly:
Subject: Await Your Urgent Response On This Progress.........Barrister John Mchenry (SAN)
From: Barrister John Mchenry (SAN)
John Mchenry Associates
Senior Advocate of Nigeria.
Legal Practitioners and Solicitors
Road 24, House 40Festac Town,
Lagos -Nigeria.
Tel: xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Mailling Add: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx@hotmail.com
Att: Mr.Adam James Tiberius Discordia,
I wish to inform you that your personal data's was well acknowledged at my chambers which your partner Mr.Phil Okolie forwarded and i have forged ahead to the Federal High Court of Justice to secure every due legal documents in your name for you to be made the Sole Bonafide Beneficary towards your consignment claimed from the Security Company Europe and have this fund invested into any profitable venture of your choice that will be of great mautaul benefit to you and your partner.
I now wish to let you know that by tomorrow this documents in your name shall be perfectly issued in your name and once issued in your name at the Federal High Court of Justice,i shall have the Security Company contact information passed to you for you to quickly open communication with the Security Company to let you know how your consignment will be released to you as the Legal Owner and Sole Bonafide Beneficary.
Be also informed that i have sent to the Security Company Application Letter for the Approval of your consignment and once every due legal documents has been secured and submitted to the Security Company your consignment claim by you shall be Approved by the Security Company and immedaite claim of your consignment shall take place by you without any atom of delay.
I advice now that you quickly let me know your preparation to to work accordingly with this development and see that once all due legal documents is perfect ready in your name you shall carry out all my directives and guidelines on having your consignment claimed without atom of delay.
Await Your Urgent Response On This Progress.
Yours in service,
Barrister John Mchenry (SAN)
I didn't bother to reply to this one via email. Instead, I called him!
Download (MP3, 10:51 32kbps, 2.5MB)
If there's a part 2, I'll have an update.
UPDATE 3/12/2006 Here's the version of the call I used in the YouTube video. It's over a minute shorter and better overall, IMO.
From: Mr.Phil. Okolie [mailto: xxxxxxxxxxxx]
Subject: Dear Friend,
Dear Friend,
I need your services in a confidential matter regarding money out of a family beneficiary deposit for investment in your country as such i decided to establish contact with you for assistance.
This requires a private arrangement,as you will receive these funds under legal claims; all legal documents will be carefully worked out to ensure a risky free claim.
I am willing to pay a generous management fee as well as appreciation as soon as this transaction is completed.I have all the details,all correspondences will be via email, for now. The funds in question are quite large.
I will expect a straight answer from you. Yes or No.If yes, Kindly furnish me with your personal information which must include your full information:
1) Your Full Name.
2) Phone, Fax and Mobile #.
3) Home/Company Address.
Please Send me an e-mail as soon as you receive this letter for further discussion and more clarification.
Thanks and God Bless You.
Well, he wanted a straight answer. Yes or No. I was only too happy to oblige:
Subject: Re: Dear friend,
Dear Friend,
I am interested in assisting you. Please reply back with what I must do.
Yours in Christ,
A. Tiberius Discordia
Nice and simple. It took a few days for him to get back to me. I thought at first he just didn't reply; that happens sometimes. Turns out, Gmail's spam catcher got it! Anyway, I marked it "Not Spam" and was greeted with the following:
Subject: Dear Mr.A. Tiberius Discordia,Your Information Requested Will Do Us Lots Good Asap. (Yes, that was the subject -ed)
Dear Mr.A. Tiberius Discordia,
How are you doing today with your family?
Please Sir your personal information is still awaited which shall enable an reputable Attorney proceed to the British High Court and secure every release due legal documents in your name for our fund release and transfer to you.
Be also informed that once your vital informatuon is sent it wil be forwarded to the Attorney chambers to enable him proceed to the British High Court on the secure of all release relevant documents in your name and favour.
Information Required:
Your Full Name
Your Telephone Number
Your Home Address
I hope you also remember that this fund of ours once released and transferedto you is to be used for immedaite investment in your country into any profitable venture of your choice,where we both shall work as partner when i come over to meet with you at your country.
Your Urgent Information Sent,Will Do Us Lots Good To Proceed.
Wiith My Best Regards,
Mr.Phil Okolie.
Well, this is interesting. Not in the sense that there's anything really new he's doing at this point; it's followed the same structure as all of these so far. What I really liked is the bad spelling and broken English.
My Reply:
Dear Mr. Phil Okolie,
I and my family are quite well and I hope this message finds you just as well. I apologize for the delay in this reply; it was most regrettably unavoidable.
Full Name: Adam James Tiberius Discordia
Address: 742 Evergreen Terrace Corona California 92878
I hope these datas will be sufficient for the purposes of our Enterprise. Please reply back soonest
Yours in Christ,
Mr. A Tiberius Discordia
I didn't copy it here, but according to Gmail, his name changed to "Phil Okoli."
With the next email. his name changed back to "Okolie." You may have been wondering why this entry us titled "The Barrister John McHenry Smile Time Variety Hour" when the scammer's name is "Mr. Phil Okolie." Here's why:
Dear Mr.Adam James Tiberius Discordia,
I must start by thanking you so very much towards your quick response to see that this mutaul transcation is been smoothly completed by your assistance of fronting you as the Bonafide Beneficary of my Consignment at the security company.
On on your coopeartion over your forwarded full information,i have forwarded all your full data's to a Noble Reputable Attorney whom will be of great help to you in terms of securing every due legal documents in your name and favor at the Federal High Court of Justice,to ensure that our consignment is been claimed from the Security Company and invested in our country immedaitly.
So my advice is that you adhere strictly to the directives of the Noble Attorney,to see that our consignment due legal documents is been perfectly secured in your name at the Federal High Court of Justice as the Sole Bonafide Beneficary in favor of our Consignment claim as soon as possible.
Here is the Noble Attorney contact info:
Office Name: John Mchenry & Associates.
Name: Barrister John Mchenry.
Tel: 234xxxxxxxxxx
Email: xxxxxxx@hotmail.com
Once you have reached the Noble Attorney,i will greatly appracite your update informing me that you have opened communication with the Attorney where great legal assistance and other vital directives towards our great goal been acheived will be coming from him okay.
I look foward for your immedaite update and co-opeartion Asap.
Best Regards,
Mr.Phil Okolie.
I looked up the Country Code "234" and made a startling discovery: This guy's an Honest-to-God Nigerian! Furthermore, with Vonage, it only costs 11 cents a minute to call Nigeria! I'll definitely be calling him, but that had to wait because before I could reply to Mr. Phil Okoli, the Barrister John McHenry (SAN) sent me something:
Subject: Legal Advice Mr.Adam Tiberius /Attend Urgently......Barrister John Mchenry (SAN)
From: Barrister John Mchenry (SAN)
John Mchenry & Associates
Senior Advocate of Nigeria.
Legal Practitioners and Solicitors
Road 24, House 40Festac Town,
Lagos -Nigeria.
Tel: xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Mailling Add: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx@hotmail.com
Att: Ms.Adam James Tiberius Discordia,
This is to get you informed that I have acknowledged all vital information of yours, which is been sent to my chambers for due proclaiming of the vital documentation on your behalf at the Federal High Court of Justice Abuja Nigeria by your partner Mr.Phil Okolie.
Please note that you are to forward the following information’s to this chambers without any further delay to enable us reconfirm what we have on my desk and ascertain the authenticity of the information’s given.
1) Your Full Name.
2) Your Occupation.
3) Your Residential /Company Address.
4) Your Marital Status.
5) Your Age.
6) Your Personal Telephone /Fax Number.
7) Scanned Driver’s license/International passport
copy.
Do forwards all this, so I proceed urgently on your legal documents proclaiming in your name at the Fedearl High Court.As your partner has also informed of your ability of assistance and trustworthy in you with this great mutual transaction.
Thanks for your anticipation.
Yours in Service,
Barrister John Mchenry (SAN)
Note: Correspondence with Barrister John Mchenry (SAN) will be in bold italics in order to separate it from Mr. Phil Okolie. Why does John Mchenry (SAN) get bold? Because he's a Barrister and a (SAN.) Mr. Phil Okolie is nothing.
Anyway, I sent Barrister John Mchenry (SAN) my reply:
Dear Barrister John McHenry,
I will be most happily to transmit all the datas you request. Furthermore, I wish to thank you first for your assistance in this Enterprise; it is most appreciated.
Full Name: Adam James Tiberius Discordia
Occupation: Independent Plumbing Technician
Age: 32
My scanner is currently broken; I will send the driving license at another day.
Once again, many thanks for your utmost assistance.
Yours in Christ,
A. Tiberius Discordia
I could have sent him the phony driver's license I used last time, but he gave me his phone number; I wanted to string him along for as long as possible.
In the mean time, Mr. Phil Okolie wanted to make sure everything was OK:
Subject: I Await Your Update On Your Contact With Attorney Asap.Mr.A. Tiberius Discordia,
Dear Adam James Tiberius Discordia ,
How are you doing today with your family?
I would want to know if you have contacted the Attorney as regards the secure of every due legal release documents as regards our consignment legal documents in your name to enable the Security Company have our consignment quickly released to you as soon as possible.
Please I need your update to enable me know you and the Attorney has open communication and by Monday or so our consignment release documents in your name get perfect secured and issued in your name to enable our consignment claimed and released to you successfully.
I Await Your Update On Your Contact With Attorney Asap.
With My Best Regards,
Mr.Phil.
From me:
Dear Mr. Phil Okolie,
My family and I are most blessed and we are all doing quite well. I thank you for your kind interest in this matter and many others. I hope you and your family are doing as well as mine.
I have contacted the Honourable Barrister John McHenry. as regards the secure of every due legal release as regards our consignment in my name to enable the Security Company have our consignment quickly released to me as soon as possible. It is very kind of you to show such concern.
Once again, I am in constant communications with the Barister. I am certain we will have the Enterprise concluded by the Monday deadline.
Yours in Christ,
A. Tiberius Discordia
Barrister John Mchenry (SAN) got back to me fairly quickly:
Subject: Await Your Urgent Response On This Progress.........Barrister John Mchenry (SAN)
From: Barrister John Mchenry (SAN)
John Mchenry Associates
Senior Advocate of Nigeria.
Legal Practitioners and Solicitors
Road 24, House 40Festac Town,
Lagos -Nigeria.
Tel: xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Mailling Add: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx@hotmail.com
Att: Mr.Adam James Tiberius Discordia,
I wish to inform you that your personal data's was well acknowledged at my chambers which your partner Mr.Phil Okolie forwarded and i have forged ahead to the Federal High Court of Justice to secure every due legal documents in your name for you to be made the Sole Bonafide Beneficary towards your consignment claimed from the Security Company Europe and have this fund invested into any profitable venture of your choice that will be of great mautaul benefit to you and your partner.
I now wish to let you know that by tomorrow this documents in your name shall be perfectly issued in your name and once issued in your name at the Federal High Court of Justice,i shall have the Security Company contact information passed to you for you to quickly open communication with the Security Company to let you know how your consignment will be released to you as the Legal Owner and Sole Bonafide Beneficary.
Be also informed that i have sent to the Security Company Application Letter for the Approval of your consignment and once every due legal documents has been secured and submitted to the Security Company your consignment claim by you shall be Approved by the Security Company and immedaite claim of your consignment shall take place by you without any atom of delay.
I advice now that you quickly let me know your preparation to to work accordingly with this development and see that once all due legal documents is perfect ready in your name you shall carry out all my directives and guidelines on having your consignment claimed without atom of delay.
Await Your Urgent Response On This Progress.
Yours in service,
Barrister John Mchenry (SAN)
I didn't bother to reply to this one via email. Instead, I called him!
Download (MP3, 10:51 32kbps, 2.5MB)
If there's a part 2, I'll have an update.
UPDATE 3/12/2006 Here's the version of the call I used in the YouTube video. It's over a minute shorter and better overall, IMO.
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
Still Alive
I'm still alive. I'm working on one at the moment. The thing is, they take a while and sometimes they don't turn out very funny or interesting. In the meantime, here's a video (not mine) that I found on YouTube.
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
Patrick K.W Chan Is a Very Nice Man
Unfortunately, no prank calls this time; getting these guys to give up a phone number is sometimes pretty hard. There's a pretty decent Photochop near the end though, so read on!
As I said in the title, Mr. Patrick K. W. Chan is a very nice man indeed:
Subject: RESPONSE NEEDED
Dear Friend,
I am Mr. Patrick Chan Executive Director and Chief Financial Officer of the Hang
Seng Bank Ltd. I have a Business Proposal of Thirty Million United State
Dollars ($30,000,000.00) for you to handle with me.
If interested I will prefer you reach me on my private email address below:
Email: (patrickchan_hk212@yahoo.com.hk)We are going to share in the ratio of 60%
for me and 40% for you.
And finally after that I shall provide you with more light on this transaction.
Your earliest response to this letter will be highly appreciated.
Regards,
Mr.Patrick K.W Chan.
I chose this one because I was rather intrigued by the total lack of story; most of these guys come up with elaborate narratives wherein...well, The King of Nigeria has died of cancer and the crooked finance minister needs my help to steal his fortune or some such. But this guy gets right to the point, so I did too.
Subject: Re: RESPONSE NEEDED
I have received your request for assistance in the matter of the disbursement of Thirty Million United States Dollars, which will be divided as follows: Sixty Per Cent (60%) to be transferred to you and Forty Per Cent (40%) to be disbursed in to my account. I am most eager to proceed and I would like you to return my electronic mail as soon as possible.
Yours in Christ,
Adam T. Discordia
A mere 13 hours later, he tells me the entire story. It could make a pretty decent movie: A Colonel in the Iraqi army hides a bunch of money and is killed by the imperialist aggressors. I'll let Mr. Patrick K, W. Chan explain:
Subject: GET BACK TO ME
Dear Friend,
I appreciate your response to me.Below is the detailed story of what really happend.
Before the U.S and Iraqi war our client Col. Hosam Hassan who was with the Iraqi forces and also business man made a numbered fixed deposit for 18 calendar months, with a value of Thirty million United State Dollars ($30,000,000.00) only in my branch. Upon maturity several notices was sent to him, even during the war early this year. Again after the war another notification was sent and still no response came from him.
We later find out that Col. Hosam Hassan along with his wife and only daughter had been killed during the war in a bomb blast that hit their home.What bothers me most is that according to the laws of my country at the expiration 4 years the funds will revert to the ownership of the Hong Kong Government if nobody applies to claim the funds.
Against this backdrop, my suggestion to you is that I will like you as a foreigner to stand as the next of kin to Col. Hosam Hassan so that you will be able to receive his funds.I have contacted an attorney that will prepare the necessary document that will back you up as the next of kin to Col.Hosam Hassan.
There is no risk involved at all in the matter as we are going to adopt a legalized method and the attorney will prepare all the necessary documents.
Please endeavor to observe utmost discretion in all matters concerning this issue.Once the funds have been transferred to your nominated bank account we shall share in the ratio of 60% for me, 40% for you, please send me information,s below,
1. Full names and Age
2. Private phone number
3. Current residential address.
And finally after that I shall provide you with more details on this transaction. Your earliest response to this letter will be highly appreciated.
Kind Regards,
Mr. Patrick K.W Chan.
So, Mr. Patrick K.W Chan doesn't want much: just for me to commit an act of treason. What the hell; I'll play along. I've listened to Bill O'Reilly so I know that everyone who helped put the Democrats back in control of Congress hate this country and are just itching to betray it for a measly $12 million. Or $12. Well I voted Democrat, so I guess I qualify:
Dear Mr. Chan Patrick,
Given my feelings towards the Current United State Government and the illegal war currently in Iraq, I will be much more than pleased to aid with your disbursments of these fund, which are $30,000,000 (Thirty Million United States Dollars.) To that end, here are my pertinent informations:
Name: Adam Tiberius Discordia
Age: 32
Occupation: Plumber
Yours in Christ,
Adam Tiberius Discordia
I did volunteer some additional "informations" in the hope that I would live up to my reputation as a "person of unequaled integrity and trustworthiness." OK, no one's said that about me yet, but I'm sure it's only because I haven't gotten that particular spam yet.
Anyway, he gets back to me the next morning with MORE DETAILS:
Dear Adam,
Thank you very much for your response, and your interest in this transaction, Like I said before,due to this issue on my hands now,it became necessary for me to seek your assistance, I appreciate the fact that you are ready to assist me in executing this project,and also you will help me in investing my money in your country, I am quite certain about that.
You should not have anything to worry about, I will do everything legally required to ensure that the project goes smoothly,it shall pass through all Laws of International Banking, you have my word.
Having resolved to entrust this transaction into your hands, I want to remind you that,it needs your commitment and diligent follow up.If you work seriously,the entire transaction should be over in a couple of days.
READ THE FOLLOWING AND GET BACK TO ME:
Firstly, I will want to know precisely the type of occupation that you do and how old you are, you should note that this project is highly capital intensive, this is why I have to be very careful, I need your total devotion and trust to see this through. I know we have not met before,but I am very confident that we will be able to establish the necessary trust that we need to execute this project.
I am now in contact with a foreign online bank, I now intend that you open an account in your name in this foreign bank.The money would be transfered to your account which you will open in the bank for both of us, this is the best way,I have found,it will protect us from my bank.
I want us to enjoy this money in peace when we conclude. So you should listen to my instructions and follow them religiously. Also You have to know that I cannot transfer this money in my name as my bank will be aware that it is from me, this is where I need you.
As result of this,you will have to open an account in the corresponding bank. I will obtain a certificate of deposit from this my bank,it will be issued in your name, this will make you the bonafide owner of the funds.
After this,the money will be banked online for both of us,We can then instruct the bank to transfer our various shares into our respective home bank accounts. I will also perfect the documentations with the assistance of my attorney to give the transaction the legal right.
Before I commence,I will need you to send me a copy of any form your identification (Driver's licence,Work ID or International passport) and your current address.
I want to be sure that I am transacting with the correct person. As soon as I get these from you,I will commence the paper work.I hope you will understand why I need all these, the money in question is big and I want to ensure that I know you well before I proceed to give you all the details to commence the project. I will also send you my Work Identification and my family picture upon receipt of your identification.
I will send the name and contact details of the bank and their website to you so that you can commence communication with them.
Ensure that you keep this project confidential, do not discuss it with anybody, because of the confidential nature of this transaction and my work.
Please reply soonest.
Regards,
Your brother,
Patrick Chan.
Well, that's interesting. I already volunteered much of the "informations" he specifically asked for. Maybe he, like my former Beloved MRS. MARY PARKER isn't really reading my emails. I sense I'm getting close to getting a phone number and I eagerly give the details that I gave before:
Dear Mr. Patrick Chan,
Thank you for your prompt reply. I am sure we will both profit greatly in this endeavour. Here are the relevant information:
Full name: Adam Tiberius Discordia
Age: 32 years
Occupation: Independent Plumber
Please get back soon.
Best Regards,
Adam Tiberius Discordia
Now I wait for that sweet, sweet phone number. But alas, it wasn't to be; he really is reading the emails:
Subject: IDENTITY NEEDED
Dear Adam,
I appreciate your response so far.I want you to scan and send your identity to me via mail attachment so that i can easily forward to my Attorney who is going to put together the paper work that will make you stand as the next of kin and the sole beneficiary of the total funds.
I will be expecting your identity soonest.
Regards,
Your Brother,
Patrick Chan.
Crap! He wants a real ID! After giving it some thought, I decide to see if I can Photoshop Mr. Adam Tiberius Discordia a driver's license. I do a Google Image Search and an hour later, come up with this:
Dear Patrick,
I apologize for my former negligence. I was quite tired and simply forgot to include my identification, but here it is now. I sincerely hope I did not hold up our enterprise significantly.
Respond Soon Please,
Adam Tiberius Discordia
It wouldn't get you into a club, but It ought to fool Mr. Patrick K.W Chan, or so I thought:
Dear Adam,
How are you doing today.I want you to know that your identity was not accepted.I want you to scan and send either your work identity or international passport so that we can conclude the paper work soonest.
I will be expecting your identity soonest.
Regards,
No, I didn't cut off his name. That's all he sent, though I think the thing that hurts the most is that I'm no longer "His Brother." Oh well. It seems so far that I have the last word though:
Dear Chan Patrick, (His email name is CHAN PATRICK but he signs everything as Patrick K.W Chan -ed)
I assure you the identity I sent you is quite valid. I am Adam Tiberius Discordia and I am willing to do any and all things to move this transaction forward. Please reply with the bank informations as soon as is possible.
Yours in Christ,
Adam T. Discordia
I don't really expect a reply on this but if I get one, I'll be sure to update soonest.
As I said in the title, Mr. Patrick K. W. Chan is a very nice man indeed:
Subject: RESPONSE NEEDED
Dear Friend,
I am Mr. Patrick Chan Executive Director and Chief Financial Officer of the Hang
Seng Bank Ltd. I have a Business Proposal of Thirty Million United State
Dollars ($30,000,000.00) for you to handle with me.
If interested I will prefer you reach me on my private email address below:
Email: (patrickchan_hk212@yahoo.com.hk)We are going to share in the ratio of 60%
for me and 40% for you.
And finally after that I shall provide you with more light on this transaction.
Your earliest response to this letter will be highly appreciated.
Regards,
Mr.Patrick K.W Chan.
I chose this one because I was rather intrigued by the total lack of story; most of these guys come up with elaborate narratives wherein...well, The King of Nigeria has died of cancer and the crooked finance minister needs my help to steal his fortune or some such. But this guy gets right to the point, so I did too.
Subject: Re: RESPONSE NEEDED
I have received your request for assistance in the matter of the disbursement of Thirty Million United States Dollars, which will be divided as follows: Sixty Per Cent (60%) to be transferred to you and Forty Per Cent (40%) to be disbursed in to my account. I am most eager to proceed and I would like you to return my electronic mail as soon as possible.
Yours in Christ,
Adam T. Discordia
A mere 13 hours later, he tells me the entire story. It could make a pretty decent movie: A Colonel in the Iraqi army hides a bunch of money and is killed by the imperialist aggressors. I'll let Mr. Patrick K, W. Chan explain:
Subject: GET BACK TO ME
Dear Friend,
I appreciate your response to me.Below is the detailed story of what really happend.
Before the U.S and Iraqi war our client Col. Hosam Hassan who was with the Iraqi forces and also business man made a numbered fixed deposit for 18 calendar months, with a value of Thirty million United State Dollars ($30,000,000.00) only in my branch. Upon maturity several notices was sent to him, even during the war early this year. Again after the war another notification was sent and still no response came from him.
We later find out that Col. Hosam Hassan along with his wife and only daughter had been killed during the war in a bomb blast that hit their home.What bothers me most is that according to the laws of my country at the expiration 4 years the funds will revert to the ownership of the Hong Kong Government if nobody applies to claim the funds.
Against this backdrop, my suggestion to you is that I will like you as a foreigner to stand as the next of kin to Col. Hosam Hassan so that you will be able to receive his funds.I have contacted an attorney that will prepare the necessary document that will back you up as the next of kin to Col.Hosam Hassan.
There is no risk involved at all in the matter as we are going to adopt a legalized method and the attorney will prepare all the necessary documents.
Please endeavor to observe utmost discretion in all matters concerning this issue.Once the funds have been transferred to your nominated bank account we shall share in the ratio of 60% for me, 40% for you, please send me information,s below,
1. Full names and Age
2. Private phone number
3. Current residential address.
And finally after that I shall provide you with more details on this transaction. Your earliest response to this letter will be highly appreciated.
Kind Regards,
Mr. Patrick K.W Chan.
So, Mr. Patrick K.W Chan doesn't want much: just for me to commit an act of treason. What the hell; I'll play along. I've listened to Bill O'Reilly so I know that everyone who helped put the Democrats back in control of Congress hate this country and are just itching to betray it for a measly $12 million. Or $12. Well I voted Democrat, so I guess I qualify:
Dear Mr. Chan Patrick,
Given my feelings towards the Current United State Government and the illegal war currently in Iraq, I will be much more than pleased to aid with your disbursments of these fund, which are $30,000,000 (Thirty Million United States Dollars.) To that end, here are my pertinent informations:
Name: Adam Tiberius Discordia
Age: 32
Occupation: Plumber
Yours in Christ,
Adam Tiberius Discordia
I did volunteer some additional "informations" in the hope that I would live up to my reputation as a "person of unequaled integrity and trustworthiness." OK, no one's said that about me yet, but I'm sure it's only because I haven't gotten that particular spam yet.
Anyway, he gets back to me the next morning with MORE DETAILS:
Dear Adam,
Thank you very much for your response, and your interest in this transaction, Like I said before,due to this issue on my hands now,it became necessary for me to seek your assistance, I appreciate the fact that you are ready to assist me in executing this project,and also you will help me in investing my money in your country, I am quite certain about that.
You should not have anything to worry about, I will do everything legally required to ensure that the project goes smoothly,it shall pass through all Laws of International Banking, you have my word.
Having resolved to entrust this transaction into your hands, I want to remind you that,it needs your commitment and diligent follow up.If you work seriously,the entire transaction should be over in a couple of days.
READ THE FOLLOWING AND GET BACK TO ME:
Firstly, I will want to know precisely the type of occupation that you do and how old you are, you should note that this project is highly capital intensive, this is why I have to be very careful, I need your total devotion and trust to see this through. I know we have not met before,but I am very confident that we will be able to establish the necessary trust that we need to execute this project.
I am now in contact with a foreign online bank, I now intend that you open an account in your name in this foreign bank.The money would be transfered to your account which you will open in the bank for both of us, this is the best way,I have found,it will protect us from my bank.
I want us to enjoy this money in peace when we conclude. So you should listen to my instructions and follow them religiously. Also You have to know that I cannot transfer this money in my name as my bank will be aware that it is from me, this is where I need you.
As result of this,you will have to open an account in the corresponding bank. I will obtain a certificate of deposit from this my bank,it will be issued in your name, this will make you the bonafide owner of the funds.
After this,the money will be banked online for both of us,We can then instruct the bank to transfer our various shares into our respective home bank accounts. I will also perfect the documentations with the assistance of my attorney to give the transaction the legal right.
Before I commence,I will need you to send me a copy of any form your identification (Driver's licence,Work ID or International passport) and your current address.
I want to be sure that I am transacting with the correct person. As soon as I get these from you,I will commence the paper work.I hope you will understand why I need all these, the money in question is big and I want to ensure that I know you well before I proceed to give you all the details to commence the project. I will also send you my Work Identification and my family picture upon receipt of your identification.
I will send the name and contact details of the bank and their website to you so that you can commence communication with them.
Ensure that you keep this project confidential, do not discuss it with anybody, because of the confidential nature of this transaction and my work.
Please reply soonest.
Regards,
Your brother,
Patrick Chan.
Well, that's interesting. I already volunteered much of the "informations" he specifically asked for. Maybe he, like my former Beloved MRS. MARY PARKER isn't really reading my emails. I sense I'm getting close to getting a phone number and I eagerly give the details that I gave before:
Dear Mr. Patrick Chan,
Thank you for your prompt reply. I am sure we will both profit greatly in this endeavour. Here are the relevant information:
Full name: Adam Tiberius Discordia
Age: 32 years
Occupation: Independent Plumber
Please get back soon.
Best Regards,
Adam Tiberius Discordia
Now I wait for that sweet, sweet phone number. But alas, it wasn't to be; he really is reading the emails:
Subject: IDENTITY NEEDED
Dear Adam,
I appreciate your response so far.I want you to scan and send your identity to me via mail attachment so that i can easily forward to my Attorney who is going to put together the paper work that will make you stand as the next of kin and the sole beneficiary of the total funds.
I will be expecting your identity soonest.
Regards,
Your Brother,
Patrick Chan.
Crap! He wants a real ID! After giving it some thought, I decide to see if I can Photoshop Mr. Adam Tiberius Discordia a driver's license. I do a Google Image Search and an hour later, come up with this:
Dear Patrick,
I apologize for my former negligence. I was quite tired and simply forgot to include my identification, but here it is now. I sincerely hope I did not hold up our enterprise significantly.
Respond Soon Please,
Adam Tiberius Discordia
It wouldn't get you into a club, but It ought to fool Mr. Patrick K.W Chan, or so I thought:
Dear Adam,
How are you doing today.I want you to know that your identity was not accepted.I want you to scan and send either your work identity or international passport so that we can conclude the paper work soonest.
I will be expecting your identity soonest.
Regards,
No, I didn't cut off his name. That's all he sent, though I think the thing that hurts the most is that I'm no longer "His Brother." Oh well. It seems so far that I have the last word though:
Dear Chan Patrick, (His email name is CHAN PATRICK but he signs everything as Patrick K.W Chan -ed)
I assure you the identity I sent you is quite valid. I am Adam Tiberius Discordia and I am willing to do any and all things to move this transaction forward. Please reply with the bank informations as soon as is possible.
Yours in Christ,
Adam T. Discordia
I don't really expect a reply on this but if I get one, I'll be sure to update soonest.
Thursday, February 1, 2007
The Saga of MRS MARY PARKER Part 2: "Is that the reason why you call me?"
If you haven't read part 1, take a minute and do that now. Just scroll down. A reverse-chronological order would probably work better for something like this, but Blogger is free and I'm cheap. SO DEAL WITH IT!
Back yet? OK. You may have noticed in the last email in Part 1 that our Mr. Kelvin Kessinger left a phone number (+44-7011-1475-09.) Vonage offers free calls to England, so I decided to give him a call.
Call #1 (MP3 32kbps 2.7MB 11:42)
As a result of the call, I got two emails, one from "Mrs. Mary Parker" and one from the "Bank."
First, the one from "Mrs. Mary Parker."
Subject: PLEASE FROM MRS, MARY PARKER
Dear Beloved Adam Discordia,
Godday to you and your family,i got your mail,thank you for your willingness to help me may God continue to bless you and your family in jesus name.
Mr kelvin kessinger is a deep christian that have the fear of God in him,i new him in the past years as a devoted man of God.
He just wrote me that you call him on phone,please make sure you give him the necessary information so that the money will be transfer to your account immediately.
PLEASE,mr Adam Discordia have fear of God in you,so that the money will be use as i said,if you do that,God will continue to bless you and your family and favour will be your portion in jesus name amen.
please get back to me
thanks.
your sister in christ,
mrs mary parker
Mr. Kelvin Kessinger's bank is the most efficient operation I've ever seen. This email came in about 15 minutes after I got off the phone, which would mean that he emailed her immediately after he hung up. Then she would have to have been waiting on the computer and immediately emailed me. It's almost like it's the same guy...Oh, by the way this email came in at 5:38pm Pacific Time (UTC -8) which would make it 1:38am where he is. Lloyd's Bank sure stays open late.
Anyway, it's really quite early for me, so I don't waste much time drafting my response to my beloved "Mrs. Mary Parker."
My Dearest Most Beloved MRS MARY PARKER.
Very well, my love. If you tell me that Mr. Kessinger is indeed a deep Christian and does know Jesus in his heart, then I believe you, for evil men and impostors shall wax worse and worse, deceiving and being deceived. ( 2 Timothy 3:13)
Your Brother in Christ,
Adam Tiberius Discordia
Little did I realize this would be the last correspondence I would have with "Mrs. Mary Parker."
Here's the letter from Lloyd's Bank
Subject: RESPONSE FROM BANK AND YOUR REQUIREMENT (URGENT )
LLOYDS TSB BANK PLC
INTERNATIONAL BANKING DIVISION
PO BOX 19, HAYS LANE HOUSE 1
HAYS LANDLONDON SE1 2HA ENGLAND
ATTN:Adam Discordia,
RE: ACKNOWLEDGMENT
We acknowledge the receipt of your mail and the letter of Authority to our office. We hereby inform you that we have received a LETTER OF AUTHORIZATION from Mrs. Mary Parker, stating that you are her Benefactor to her funds in our bank, and that you will be making contact with us, to officially activate her account with us that is being dormant for a while now, thereafter make transfer on her behalf to your designated account.
Prior to this effect, We want you to provide the under listed information below to our office along with any form of your identification (INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT, DRIVERS LICENSE):
1. PHONE/FAX NUMBER:
2. PERSONAL IDENTIFICATION (i.e. Driver's license or International passport)
3. CERTIFICATE OF DEPOSIT (Issued at the point of depositing the funds)
The Minute we receive these information from you, we will start up with the immediate processing of your claims and thereafter send to you the mode by which you are to send the required fund for the activation of the said Account, before making transfer to your designated Account
Best Regards
Mr. Kelvin Kessinger
For: LLOYDS TSB
CC: Mrs. Mary Parker
Tel: +44-7011-1475-09
+44-7024-0181-04
+44-7024-0622-36
Fax : +4487-0478-4664
This message and any included attachments are from LLOYDS TSB. and are intended only for the addressee. The information contained in this message is confidential and may constitute inside or non-public information under international, federal, or state securities laws.
Unauthorized forwarding, printing, copying, distribution, or use of such information is strictly prohibited and may be unlawful. If you are not the addressee, please promptly delete this message and notify the sender of the delivery error by e-mail or you may call LLOYDS TSB. Corporate office in UK, at Tel: +44-7011-1475-09
New Yahoo! Mail is the ultimate force in competitive emailing. Find out more at the Yahoo! Mail Championships. Plus: play games and win prizes.
nd win prizes.
Now, I like to think I'm a savvy guy; I know when something doesn't smell right. I understand that the prospect of 1.5 million British Pounds is a tempting one and that the promise of such a large sum for free might cloud your judgment. But please remember, there ate no people out there that you've never met that want to give you their money. Furthermore, if you find this:
New Yahoo! Mail is the ultimate force in competitive emailing. Find out more at the Yahoo! Mail Championships. Plus: play games and win prizes.
At the end of an official email from the bank with the money, THEY ARE NOT A REAL BANK. Banks don't use Yahoo mail for official business. Does this guy really think people will fall for this?
Anyway, back to the story; I replied with this:
I am uncomfortable giving out personal information over electronic mail; any one can intercept it. I will phone you tomorrow and give the informations via telephone.
I'm also uncomfortable giving information to banks that use free email services, but I digress. I call him back the next day and decide this time to use the time zone difference to my advantage. I called him at 8:00pm Pacific (0400 UTC.) He was not at all happy to be hearing from me. Maybe Lloyd's Bank shouldn't be open 24 hours a day then. :D
Call #2 (MP3 32kbps 2.82 Kbps 12:20)
I'd like to say I learned a lot from my dealings with "Mrs. Mary Parker" and "Mr. Kelvin Kessinger." but I really didn't. I did get some good closure on this one though, so that's something. :D
Oh, and there's a real Lloyd's TSB, for what that's worth.
Back yet? OK. You may have noticed in the last email in Part 1 that our Mr. Kelvin Kessinger left a phone number (+44-7011-1475-09.) Vonage offers free calls to England, so I decided to give him a call.
Call #1 (MP3 32kbps 2.7MB 11:42)
As a result of the call, I got two emails, one from "Mrs. Mary Parker" and one from the "Bank."
First, the one from "Mrs. Mary Parker."
Subject: PLEASE FROM MRS, MARY PARKER
Dear Beloved Adam Discordia,
Godday to you and your family,i got your mail,thank you for your willingness to help me may God continue to bless you and your family in jesus name.
Mr kelvin kessinger is a deep christian that have the fear of God in him,i new him in the past years as a devoted man of God.
He just wrote me that you call him on phone,please make sure you give him the necessary information so that the money will be transfer to your account immediately.
PLEASE,mr Adam Discordia have fear of God in you,so that the money will be use as i said,if you do that,God will continue to bless you and your family and favour will be your portion in jesus name amen.
please get back to me
thanks.
your sister in christ,
mrs mary parker
Mr. Kelvin Kessinger's bank is the most efficient operation I've ever seen. This email came in about 15 minutes after I got off the phone, which would mean that he emailed her immediately after he hung up. Then she would have to have been waiting on the computer and immediately emailed me. It's almost like it's the same guy...Oh, by the way this email came in at 5:38pm Pacific Time (UTC -8) which would make it 1:38am where he is. Lloyd's Bank sure stays open late.
Anyway, it's really quite early for me, so I don't waste much time drafting my response to my beloved "Mrs. Mary Parker."
My Dearest Most Beloved MRS MARY PARKER.
Very well, my love. If you tell me that Mr. Kessinger is indeed a deep Christian and does know Jesus in his heart, then I believe you, for evil men and impostors shall wax worse and worse, deceiving and being deceived. ( 2 Timothy 3:13)
Your Brother in Christ,
Adam Tiberius Discordia
Little did I realize this would be the last correspondence I would have with "Mrs. Mary Parker."
Here's the letter from Lloyd's Bank
Subject: RESPONSE FROM BANK AND YOUR REQUIREMENT (URGENT )
LLOYDS TSB BANK PLC
INTERNATIONAL BANKING DIVISION
PO BOX 19, HAYS LANE HOUSE 1
HAYS LANDLONDON SE1 2HA ENGLAND
ATTN:Adam Discordia,
RE: ACKNOWLEDGMENT
We acknowledge the receipt of your mail and the letter of Authority to our office. We hereby inform you that we have received a LETTER OF AUTHORIZATION from Mrs. Mary Parker, stating that you are her Benefactor to her funds in our bank, and that you will be making contact with us, to officially activate her account with us that is being dormant for a while now, thereafter make transfer on her behalf to your designated account.
Prior to this effect, We want you to provide the under listed information below to our office along with any form of your identification (INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT, DRIVERS LICENSE):
1. PHONE/FAX NUMBER:
2. PERSONAL IDENTIFICATION (i.e. Driver's license or International passport)
3. CERTIFICATE OF DEPOSIT (Issued at the point of depositing the funds)
The Minute we receive these information from you, we will start up with the immediate processing of your claims and thereafter send to you the mode by which you are to send the required fund for the activation of the said Account, before making transfer to your designated Account
Best Regards
Mr. Kelvin Kessinger
For: LLOYDS TSB
CC: Mrs. Mary Parker
Tel: +44-7011-1475-09
+44-7024-0181-04
+44-7024-0622-36
Fax : +4487-0478-4664
This message and any included attachments are from LLOYDS TSB. and are intended only for the addressee. The information contained in this message is confidential and may constitute inside or non-public information under international, federal, or state securities laws.
Unauthorized forwarding, printing, copying, distribution, or use of such information is strictly prohibited and may be unlawful. If you are not the addressee, please promptly delete this message and notify the sender of the delivery error by e-mail or you may call LLOYDS TSB. Corporate office in UK, at Tel: +44-7011-1475-09
New Yahoo! Mail is the ultimate force in competitive emailing. Find out more at the Yahoo! Mail Championships. Plus: play games and win prizes.
nd win prizes.
Now, I like to think I'm a savvy guy; I know when something doesn't smell right. I understand that the prospect of 1.5 million British Pounds is a tempting one and that the promise of such a large sum for free might cloud your judgment. But please remember, there ate no people out there that you've never met that want to give you their money. Furthermore, if you find this:
New Yahoo! Mail is the ultimate force in competitive emailing. Find out more at the Yahoo! Mail Championships. Plus: play games and win prizes.
At the end of an official email from the bank with the money, THEY ARE NOT A REAL BANK. Banks don't use Yahoo mail for official business. Does this guy really think people will fall for this?
Anyway, back to the story; I replied with this:
I am uncomfortable giving out personal information over electronic mail; any one can intercept it. I will phone you tomorrow and give the informations via telephone.
I'm also uncomfortable giving information to banks that use free email services, but I digress. I call him back the next day and decide this time to use the time zone difference to my advantage. I called him at 8:00pm Pacific (0400 UTC.) He was not at all happy to be hearing from me. Maybe Lloyd's Bank shouldn't be open 24 hours a day then. :D
Call #2 (MP3 32kbps 2.82 Kbps 12:20)
I'd like to say I learned a lot from my dealings with "Mrs. Mary Parker" and "Mr. Kelvin Kessinger." but I really didn't. I did get some good closure on this one though, so that's something. :D
Oh, and there's a real Lloyd's TSB, for what that's worth.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
The saga of MRS MARY PARKER Part I
The scams that I post after this one probably won't follow the same format (one long post with all the emails.) Or it might; this is, after all the inaugural entry, so we'll see.
So the first email came to my Comcast (i.e. my sacrificial spam account) email address.
Subject: Dear Beloved
Dear Beloved,
I am Mrs. Mary Parker,the wife of Mr.Robert Parker,both of us, are citizens of the united state of America. my husband worked with the Chevron/Texaco in Russia for twenty years before he died in the year 2003.
We were married for ten years without a child. My Husband died after a brief illness. Before his death we both got born-again as dedicated Christians. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of 7.5 Million Pounds (Seven Million Five hundred Thousand Pounds) with a Bank in Europe.
This money is still with the Bank and the management just wrote me as the beneficiary that our account has been DORMANT and if I, as the beneficiary of the funds, do not re-activate the account; the funds will be CONFISCATED or I rather issue a letter of authorization to somebody to receive it on my behalf (note that you need to activate this account).
Presently, I'm in an hospital in Russia undergoing treatment for esophageal cancer.
I want a person that is God-fearing who will use this money to fund churches,orphanages and widows propagating the word of God.
Please my beloved for further communication, reach me on my private email address:xxxxxxx@yahoo.co.uk
Your Sister in Christ,
Mrs. Mary Parker
With the devout Christian theme and her vaguely creepy insistence on calling me her "beloved," I decide that this is a good one to reply to. Also, make note of the "esophageal cancer." It's little details like that which make these things believable. So I log into one of my fake Gmail accounts and send this:
Dear Mrs. Parker,
I have made receipt of your request for assistance with your late husband's monies, which is 7.5 million GBP (Seven Million Five Hundred Thousand Great Britain Pounds) in order that I would help spread the Word of the True Lord and Savior Jesus God of Gods, King of Kings. Please tell me what the next step in this process will be.
Yours in Christ,
Adam T. Discordia
I always (at least in the beginning) try to use the same language that they use. It's always hard to believe that they fall for it, but nine times out of ten, they do. "Mrs. Mary Parker" did. You may be wondering why I always refer to her as "Mrs. Mary Parker." I refer to her that way because she always refers to herself as "Mrs. Mary Parker." It takes longer to type than simply "Mary" or the more respectful "Mrs. Parker," but she's dying of cancer, so show some respect, you insensitive cock.
So anyway, "Mrs. Mary Parker" responded with this:
Subject: DETAILS FROM MRS.MARY PARKER
Dear Beloved,
I am most grateful for your mail,and I seize this opportunity to thank you for coming to my rescue.However,I crave your indulgence to kindly attend to this in good faith as everything is Legal and the funds belongs to my Late husband whom before his death was always helping Charitable organisation,Churches and NGO in the world.
I hope you were not too embarrassed by my first email to you since you do not know me. I had no option since the family of my husband in and outside Russia refused to distribute my husband funds because they wanted to keep it to themselves. I don't really know how to move the funds out and dispatched it to charity organizations, so I resulted to putting fate to test and making a random contact.
I got your email address from a private search which i did on the internet.I am communicating with only you at this moment with regards to this transaction. And I would not have any cause to do otherwise, except you state your intention to withdraw your assistance.Just like I stated in my first mail to you,this fund is presently with a bank in united kingdom (UK) and they would be able to tranfer the funds to you immediately if you adhere strictly to their directive.
I cannot distribute these funds myself because of the following reasons:
(1) I am undergoing medical treatment and It has defiled all forms of medicine, and right now I have only about a few months to live, according to medical experts diagnosis.
(2) I want God to be merciful to me and accept my soul and so, I have decided to give help to charity organizations,churches and NGO, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth before my death. It is for this reasons I am seeking for your assistance to stand as the beneficiary to the fund and retrieve it on my behalf and dispatched it to charity organizations.I will be sending to you some names of these organizations too. All the necessary documents required to get the Funds out of the bank are with me.
However,before I proceed further in giving you the Bank contact, I want you to give me your words that you will be very honest and straight forward with me when the money gets to you and also,that you will be able to execute this Project successfully and help me dispatched it to charity organizations.As this is MY LAST WISH BEFORE MY DEATH TO SEE ME CONCLUDE THIS.
Thus,I would want you to get back to me on the following issues if you are ready to assist me:
(1) That you are in a position to be trusted as a God fearing person with such a large amount of fund been entrusted to you. Also, that you will dispatched it to charity organization and churches as I wanted it.
(2) That you are willing to contact the Bank company to discuss the terms of releasing the funds.
As soon as I receive your reply that you are ready to proceed under these terms, then I will furnish you with all details including the company. But if you have any questions to ask me, please ask and I will be more than happy to respond to them immediately.
I will be sending to you all the necessary documentations to conclude this Project.
Looking forward for your reply.
Remain bless.
Mrs.Mary Parker
It seems she's continued with the creepy appellation of "Beloved." She also claims that she found my email address in a "private search." I want to make it clear here that "Mrs. Mary Parker" never found this address in a private, or any other kind of search. I know they're liars, but it'd be nice if they were better at it. Anyway, I decided to take the "Beloved" thing and run with it:
My Dearest Beloved Mrs. Mary Parker,
First, I want to make it absolutely clear to you that I was in no way embarrassed by your heartfelt missive. Your correspondence is the highlight of my day. As a fellow God's Warrior, I understand your desire to disburse the funds, which is GBP£7,500,000 (Seven Million Five Hundred Thousand Great Britain Pounds£) in order that many churches and NGOs might be founded to spread the Word, Light and Love of Jesus Christ Almighty Lord and Saviour who Died on the Cross and was Risen to Cleanse Our Sins. Please contact me on AOL IM (America On Line Instant Messenger) at the Screen Name xxxxx so that we might further discuss the transfer of funds.
Yours in Christ,
Adam Discordia
I still don't understand how these people could possibly believe this. I mean honestly, do they really believe that my exchanging emails in broken English with "Mrs. Mary Parker" has become the highlight of my day? I realize that its impossible to get a sense of time in this format, but it had only been two days at this point (I first emailed Mrs. Mary Parker on January 24th; I sent the one above on the 26th.) Once again, Mrs. Mary Parker was all too happy to reply:
Subject: URGENT FROM MRS.MARY PARKER
Dear Beloved,
Good day,i got your mail asking about how i got your email address,it was during my seaching for a trusted and God fearing person on internet i come across your email address,which was reveal to me by God to write you for assitance.please do as i said after the MONEY has be transfered to your account,be faithful to God.
Blessings to you beloved. Your words in your response have given me great Joy this is a good work of charity project I have placed in your hands. My dear I will only say to you with reason of my throat cancer I am unable to speak but all I want is that the money is first safe in your account before I meet the Lord so that it can be used for the intended purpose.
I have told you in confidence that I want the project to be kept very secret and details of my contact with you should not be disclosed to anybody and this is because my husband's family might want to do everything to gain possession of this money for their own selfish interest.
My dear the bank in possession of the money is in Europe, the money can be transferred to your account electronically once you activate the DORMANT ACCOUNT and I need the following details below to send LETTER OF AUTHORIZATION to the bank in Europe that you are now the sole beneficiary see below:
NAME IN FULL:
CONTACT ADDRESS:
COUNTRY:
TEL:
FAX:
OCCUPATION:
I want you to know now that if the project does not take place it will be your fault as I have done all in my power to see that everything works in the manner that we have discussed.
My dear, I want you to have faith and pray always knowing the task ahead and the bold step I have taken to give you this money, I need you to always stay focused and follow instructions, there is need for prayers as obstacles will arise but all that stand against the success of this transfer and the project proper will fall.
Let me rest and leave you to pray and build your mind towards the task ahead and also always be in contact with me. It is very important that you complete this project in good faith even if I join my husband before time and always know your share of the funds is 20% and the balance must be used for the project proper which is 80% dispatching it to the list of the charity organisation that i'll be sending to you.
May God bless you.
Your sister in the lord
Mrs . Mary Parker
Come to think of it, I don't think "Mrs. Mary Parker" is reading my emails at all; I never asked how she found my email address. It's no matter, she's promised me 1.5 million pounds! At the current exchange rate, that's a 2.95 million dollars (Two Million Nine Hundred Fifty Thousand United States Dollars.) Finally, something good comes from a weak dollar. Oh, and remember her "esophageal cancer?" Now it's "throat cancer." Poor "Mrs. Mary Parker."
Obviously, I can't wait much longer to get my hands on this money and spread the Word. I quickly draft my reply:
My Most Dearly Beloved Mrs. Mary Parker,
Good morning to you, my love. I hope this message finds you well. I would be more than happy to supply you with all of the information you need in order to move the enterprise forward, which is the transfer of your late husband's monies, which are £.0075 Billion GBP (£Point Zero Zero Seven Five Billion Great Britain Pounds) of which %20 will revert to my possession while the rest will serve to spread the Word and Love of The Father, The Son and the Holy Spirit Amen.
However, I must ask one small favour of you before I simply hand over my informations. May I see a picture of you? I've no doubt that you are as beautiful a woman as I have imagined, but I would like to know for sure. I'm sure you are far more beautiful than I can possibly imagine. As a show of Good Faith, I will supply some of my information now, the rest will come when I have truly seen your beauty.
Name: Adam Tiberius Discordia
Country: United States of America
Occupation: Independent Plumber
Once again, I look forward to further correspondence with you, my dear.
Yours in Christ,
Adam T. Discordia
"Mrs. Mary Parker" took a couple days to reply; I do usually lose them at this point. I assumed "Mrs. Mary Parker" had given up. I didn't really give it much more thought. I was wrong though. Turns out "Mrs. Mary Parker" was preparing documents to send me!
Subject: CERTIFICATE_OF_DEPOSIT/LETTER_OF_AUTHORITY ATTACH PLEASE CONTACT BANK NOW
Dear Beloved Adam Tiberius Discordia, (Note: That was their bolding -ed)
Thank you for your details and email, I needed to becareful due to the money involved,but now that you have proven to me that you are a remarkable, honest and trustworthy of your words. I am very happy about this, you have earned my full respect and trust, and I hope you will live up to the respect I have for you. I am very confident doing this transaction with you and please do not let me down.
In this light, I have sent you the Name of the bank and the name of the person in-charge that you will contact and make enquiries on your funds. Please find below the bank details:
Name of Bank : LLOYDS TSB BANK PLC.
Name of officer : Mr. Kelvin Kessinger
Email : lloydsbanktsbinfo@yahoo.co.uk
Tel: +44-7011-1475-09
+44-7024-0181-04
+44-7024-0622-36
Fax: +4487-0478-4664
I advice you to contact the bank because I have sent a LETTER OF AUTHORIZATION to them that you are now the sole beneficiary to this funds so that once the funds are released, they will be moved straight into your designated account in your country.
I also attached to this email a copy of the CERTIFICATE OF DEPOSIT. Please do make contact with the bank immediately so that the transfer can be effected to you on or before 4 working days.
However, I advice you always get back to me with any mail you received from bank so that I can know when they will be transfering the funds to you.
God Bless you.
Mrs. Mary Parker
There were to pictures attached too: (Note: I converted these to PNG then back to JPEG on my Linux box on the off chance they contained some kind of trojan. If they did, they're clean now.)
This is getting a little long, so I'm breaking it into two parts, despite what I said at the beginning. What can I say? I'm a fickle guy. Stay tuned for part two (Probably tomorrow)
So the first email came to my Comcast (i.e. my sacrificial spam account) email address.
Subject: Dear Beloved
Dear Beloved,
I am Mrs. Mary Parker,the wife of Mr.Robert Parker,both of us, are citizens of the united state of America. my husband worked with the Chevron/Texaco in Russia for twenty years before he died in the year 2003.
We were married for ten years without a child. My Husband died after a brief illness. Before his death we both got born-again as dedicated Christians. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of 7.5 Million Pounds (Seven Million Five hundred Thousand Pounds) with a Bank in Europe.
This money is still with the Bank and the management just wrote me as the beneficiary that our account has been DORMANT and if I, as the beneficiary of the funds, do not re-activate the account; the funds will be CONFISCATED or I rather issue a letter of authorization to somebody to receive it on my behalf (note that you need to activate this account).
Presently, I'm in an hospital in Russia undergoing treatment for esophageal cancer.
I want a person that is God-fearing who will use this money to fund churches,orphanages and widows propagating the word of God.
Please my beloved for further communication, reach me on my private email address:xxxxxxx@yahoo.co.uk
Your Sister in Christ,
Mrs. Mary Parker
With the devout Christian theme and her vaguely creepy insistence on calling me her "beloved," I decide that this is a good one to reply to. Also, make note of the "esophageal cancer." It's little details like that which make these things believable. So I log into one of my fake Gmail accounts and send this:
Dear Mrs. Parker,
I have made receipt of your request for assistance with your late husband's monies, which is 7.5 million GBP (Seven Million Five Hundred Thousand Great Britain Pounds) in order that I would help spread the Word of the True Lord and Savior Jesus God of Gods, King of Kings. Please tell me what the next step in this process will be.
Yours in Christ,
Adam T. Discordia
I always (at least in the beginning) try to use the same language that they use. It's always hard to believe that they fall for it, but nine times out of ten, they do. "Mrs. Mary Parker" did. You may be wondering why I always refer to her as "Mrs. Mary Parker." I refer to her that way because she always refers to herself as "Mrs. Mary Parker." It takes longer to type than simply "Mary" or the more respectful "Mrs. Parker," but she's dying of cancer, so show some respect, you insensitive cock.
So anyway, "Mrs. Mary Parker" responded with this:
Subject: DETAILS FROM MRS.MARY PARKER
Dear Beloved,
I am most grateful for your mail,and I seize this opportunity to thank you for coming to my rescue.However,I crave your indulgence to kindly attend to this in good faith as everything is Legal and the funds belongs to my Late husband whom before his death was always helping Charitable organisation,Churches and NGO in the world.
I hope you were not too embarrassed by my first email to you since you do not know me. I had no option since the family of my husband in and outside Russia refused to distribute my husband funds because they wanted to keep it to themselves. I don't really know how to move the funds out and dispatched it to charity organizations, so I resulted to putting fate to test and making a random contact.
I got your email address from a private search which i did on the internet.I am communicating with only you at this moment with regards to this transaction. And I would not have any cause to do otherwise, except you state your intention to withdraw your assistance.Just like I stated in my first mail to you,this fund is presently with a bank in united kingdom (UK) and they would be able to tranfer the funds to you immediately if you adhere strictly to their directive.
I cannot distribute these funds myself because of the following reasons:
(1) I am undergoing medical treatment and It has defiled all forms of medicine, and right now I have only about a few months to live, according to medical experts diagnosis.
(2) I want God to be merciful to me and accept my soul and so, I have decided to give help to charity organizations,churches and NGO, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth before my death. It is for this reasons I am seeking for your assistance to stand as the beneficiary to the fund and retrieve it on my behalf and dispatched it to charity organizations.I will be sending to you some names of these organizations too. All the necessary documents required to get the Funds out of the bank are with me.
However,before I proceed further in giving you the Bank contact, I want you to give me your words that you will be very honest and straight forward with me when the money gets to you and also,that you will be able to execute this Project successfully and help me dispatched it to charity organizations.As this is MY LAST WISH BEFORE MY DEATH TO SEE ME CONCLUDE THIS.
Thus,I would want you to get back to me on the following issues if you are ready to assist me:
(1) That you are in a position to be trusted as a God fearing person with such a large amount of fund been entrusted to you. Also, that you will dispatched it to charity organization and churches as I wanted it.
(2) That you are willing to contact the Bank company to discuss the terms of releasing the funds.
As soon as I receive your reply that you are ready to proceed under these terms, then I will furnish you with all details including the company. But if you have any questions to ask me, please ask and I will be more than happy to respond to them immediately.
I will be sending to you all the necessary documentations to conclude this Project.
Looking forward for your reply.
Remain bless.
Mrs.Mary Parker
It seems she's continued with the creepy appellation of "Beloved." She also claims that she found my email address in a "private search." I want to make it clear here that "Mrs. Mary Parker" never found this address in a private, or any other kind of search. I know they're liars, but it'd be nice if they were better at it. Anyway, I decided to take the "Beloved" thing and run with it:
My Dearest Beloved Mrs. Mary Parker,
First, I want to make it absolutely clear to you that I was in no way embarrassed by your heartfelt missive. Your correspondence is the highlight of my day. As a fellow God's Warrior, I understand your desire to disburse the funds, which is GBP£7,500,000 (Seven Million Five Hundred Thousand Great Britain Pounds£) in order that many churches and NGOs might be founded to spread the Word, Light and Love of Jesus Christ Almighty Lord and Saviour who Died on the Cross and was Risen to Cleanse Our Sins. Please contact me on AOL IM (America On Line Instant Messenger) at the Screen Name xxxxx so that we might further discuss the transfer of funds.
Yours in Christ,
Adam Discordia
I still don't understand how these people could possibly believe this. I mean honestly, do they really believe that my exchanging emails in broken English with "Mrs. Mary Parker" has become the highlight of my day? I realize that its impossible to get a sense of time in this format, but it had only been two days at this point (I first emailed Mrs. Mary Parker on January 24th; I sent the one above on the 26th.) Once again, Mrs. Mary Parker was all too happy to reply:
Subject: URGENT FROM MRS.MARY PARKER
Dear Beloved,
Good day,i got your mail asking about how i got your email address,it was during my seaching for a trusted and God fearing person on internet i come across your email address,which was reveal to me by God to write you for assitance.please do as i said after the MONEY has be transfered to your account,be faithful to God.
Blessings to you beloved. Your words in your response have given me great Joy this is a good work of charity project I have placed in your hands. My dear I will only say to you with reason of my throat cancer I am unable to speak but all I want is that the money is first safe in your account before I meet the Lord so that it can be used for the intended purpose.
I have told you in confidence that I want the project to be kept very secret and details of my contact with you should not be disclosed to anybody and this is because my husband's family might want to do everything to gain possession of this money for their own selfish interest.
My dear the bank in possession of the money is in Europe, the money can be transferred to your account electronically once you activate the DORMANT ACCOUNT and I need the following details below to send LETTER OF AUTHORIZATION to the bank in Europe that you are now the sole beneficiary see below:
NAME IN FULL:
CONTACT ADDRESS:
COUNTRY:
TEL:
FAX:
OCCUPATION:
I want you to know now that if the project does not take place it will be your fault as I have done all in my power to see that everything works in the manner that we have discussed.
My dear, I want you to have faith and pray always knowing the task ahead and the bold step I have taken to give you this money, I need you to always stay focused and follow instructions, there is need for prayers as obstacles will arise but all that stand against the success of this transfer and the project proper will fall.
Let me rest and leave you to pray and build your mind towards the task ahead and also always be in contact with me. It is very important that you complete this project in good faith even if I join my husband before time and always know your share of the funds is 20% and the balance must be used for the project proper which is 80% dispatching it to the list of the charity organisation that i'll be sending to you.
May God bless you.
Your sister in the lord
Mrs . Mary Parker
Come to think of it, I don't think "Mrs. Mary Parker" is reading my emails at all; I never asked how she found my email address. It's no matter, she's promised me 1.5 million pounds! At the current exchange rate, that's a 2.95 million dollars (Two Million Nine Hundred Fifty Thousand United States Dollars.) Finally, something good comes from a weak dollar. Oh, and remember her "esophageal cancer?" Now it's "throat cancer." Poor "Mrs. Mary Parker."
Obviously, I can't wait much longer to get my hands on this money and spread the Word. I quickly draft my reply:
My Most Dearly Beloved Mrs. Mary Parker,
Good morning to you, my love. I hope this message finds you well. I would be more than happy to supply you with all of the information you need in order to move the enterprise forward, which is the transfer of your late husband's monies, which are £.0075 Billion GBP (£Point Zero Zero Seven Five Billion Great Britain Pounds) of which %20 will revert to my possession while the rest will serve to spread the Word and Love of The Father, The Son and the Holy Spirit Amen.
However, I must ask one small favour of you before I simply hand over my informations. May I see a picture of you? I've no doubt that you are as beautiful a woman as I have imagined, but I would like to know for sure. I'm sure you are far more beautiful than I can possibly imagine. As a show of Good Faith, I will supply some of my information now, the rest will come when I have truly seen your beauty.
Name: Adam Tiberius Discordia
Country: United States of America
Occupation: Independent Plumber
Once again, I look forward to further correspondence with you, my dear.
Yours in Christ,
Adam T. Discordia
"Mrs. Mary Parker" took a couple days to reply; I do usually lose them at this point. I assumed "Mrs. Mary Parker" had given up. I didn't really give it much more thought. I was wrong though. Turns out "Mrs. Mary Parker" was preparing documents to send me!
Subject: CERTIFICATE_OF_DEPOSIT/LETTER_OF_AUTHORITY ATTACH PLEASE CONTACT BANK NOW
Dear Beloved Adam Tiberius Discordia, (Note: That was their bolding -ed)
Thank you for your details and email, I needed to becareful due to the money involved,but now that you have proven to me that you are a remarkable, honest and trustworthy of your words. I am very happy about this, you have earned my full respect and trust, and I hope you will live up to the respect I have for you. I am very confident doing this transaction with you and please do not let me down.
In this light, I have sent you the Name of the bank and the name of the person in-charge that you will contact and make enquiries on your funds. Please find below the bank details:
Name of Bank : LLOYDS TSB BANK PLC.
Name of officer : Mr. Kelvin Kessinger
Email : lloydsbanktsbinfo@yahoo.co.uk
Tel: +44-7011-1475-09
+44-7024-0181-04
+44-7024-0622-36
Fax: +4487-0478-4664
I advice you to contact the bank because I have sent a LETTER OF AUTHORIZATION to them that you are now the sole beneficiary to this funds so that once the funds are released, they will be moved straight into your designated account in your country.
I also attached to this email a copy of the CERTIFICATE OF DEPOSIT. Please do make contact with the bank immediately so that the transfer can be effected to you on or before 4 working days.
However, I advice you always get back to me with any mail you received from bank so that I can know when they will be transfering the funds to you.
God Bless you.
Mrs. Mary Parker
There were to pictures attached too: (Note: I converted these to PNG then back to JPEG on my Linux box on the off chance they contained some kind of trojan. If they did, they're clean now.)
This is getting a little long, so I'm breaking it into two parts, despite what I said at the beginning. What can I say? I'm a fickle guy. Stay tuned for part two (Probably tomorrow)
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